We're Not Making This Up

First, I'd like to say thank you.

I've gotten a good amount of support this week. And it matters. We're often told we shouldn't care what everyone thinks, but that's a lie. We're social creatures. Our thoughts guide our actions, and our actions have an impact on others. Many of you understand that, and it shows. I'm reading through comments on my earlier posts this week, and responding. I'll keep doing that.

At the same time, it's important to discuss some less positive things. I'll start with a post by Katie Jagielnicka, pointing to the disturbing rise of red pill misogyny on the internet, and everywhere else. In Britain, 50 percent of men now endorse this rhetoric. We also recently learned about a global "online rape academy" that teaches men how to assault their wives and girlfriends. This is no small website.

It gets 62 million visits a month.

So while writers like me are struggling like hell, begging for support, this is what the Andrew Tates of the world are enjoying. And when we try to talk about it, we're told we're being negative, bringing "too much vitriol."

Even other women tell us that.

It keeps getting worse, and we keep hearing that it's either not a problem, not as bad as we think, or it's our fault.

You know, I've felt it.

Women aren't kidding when we talk about the sheer hatred directed at us now. It surfaces everywhere, every day, including when we try to deal with other problems like the collapse of public health, the climate crisis, and everything else. It hampers us. It keeps us from making a living. It keeps us from contributing to movements. If roughly half of men are now openly subscribing to violent misogyny, consider how many more are undermining us, second guessing everything we say, sabotaging every single thing we try and do. Consider how many women are helping them.

An example:

Earlier this week, I posted about alternative models of male anger and rage that provide a healthier outlet than the manosphere influencers.

Here's how someone responded. Before you take a look, understand something. This wasn't a random troll. This was someone who'd read 90 percent of my articles over the last two years. He was a paid subscriber. Then he left this comment, started arguing with other members on here, and then canceled. If you don't want to read the whole thing, that's fine. I'll give you a brief summary in a minute.

It’s not the “manosphere influencers” who are the problem so much as the rigged systems. Yet this post dwells on scapegoating such boogeymen influencers instead, and proposing the non-solution of metal and the arts. The popularity of certain influencers is a symptom of much more serious problems, including systemic misandry and gynocentrism. So the solution isn’t escapism—it’s systemic reform. 

I have made some of these points before, and I will make them again. 

Let’s lay the lion’s share of the blame where it belongs. It’s not “manosphere influencers” and “incel kings” primarily responsible for stoking the public’s hatred of men. It was the influencers who have spent years using gendered anti-male slurs and slogans like “kill all men,” “men are trash,” “I choose the bear,” “toxic masculinity,” “manspreading,” “mankeeping,” “mansplaining,” “male fragility,” and “male rage”—to wild cheers from millions of their fellow man-haters. It was the hosts of The View telling the world that men are useless, the Sabrina Carpenters urging everyone to “call men stupid in as many ways as you can,” and the media giants and Hollywood producers consistently pumping out anti-male messaging throughout our newspapers, TV, and movies. 

It wasn’t “manosphere influencers” who were responsible for the Duluth Model (which get abused men arrested when they report being abused by women), warped Title IX interpretations that deny accused men due process, support of false accusations against men, and biased courts that are far more likely to penalize men than women, even when both behave in the same way. Those largely reflect lobbying from feminists. 

“Manosphere influencers” aren’t the ones promoting endless double standards in our institutions that advantage women and disadvantage men. They’re not the ones actively sabotaging or blocking the creation of programs meant to help men and boys, while building up more and more aid programs reserved exclusively for women. They’re not actively promoting female supremacist rhetoric while disparaging all men, like a number of leading politicians on the left have been. 

Even Barack Obama (finally!) gets this. Better late than never. 

https://thehill.com/video/obama-criticizes-progressives-for-abandoning-men-explains-demo-swing-to-trump-rising/10912395/

Tate, the “manosphere,” and “patriarchy” are boogeymen and scapegoats. They’re nowhere close to being primary drivers of men’s problems, and the “patriarchy” isn’t even real. Valuing the arts isn’t going to fix any of these problems. But actively working to reform biased laws, institutions, and norms might.

Why do I risk distributing this kind of view? Well, the view is already out there. While I was doing my best to ignore it to rise above it, to focus on other problems, it captured roughly half of men. So you can take it from me, not addressing it really doesn't help. We don't do ourselves any favors by ignoring it.

A summary:

This guy would have us all believe that women are the real problem, especially successful women like Sabrina Carpenter. He says feminism is the real problem. He says Title IX is the real problem. He says patriarchy doesn't exist. Correct, in 2026, he says there's no such thing. I'm going to reiterate: This wasn't some random troll on the internet. It was a reader, a subscriber, someone who shares my views on public health, on genocide, on the climate crisis, and everything else. He blew up at me, and he canceled. In fact, he sent me an email saying he regretted ever supporting my work.

This is the problem.

On top of that, we've had no shortage of women also wagging their fingers at activists online, talking about our "vitriol" because we have a problem with criminals and grifters joining our platforms and poisoning them. They have nothing to say, other than trying to silence those of us trying to use our voices.

Every single day this week, often multiple times a day, a reader has decided to do the opposite of support my work. They've written articles accusing me of propaganda. They've started feuds in the comments. They've withdrawn their support. They do this purely out of hate, not because my work has failed them.

They did this after I asked everyone to stop doing this.

Do you know what's interesting?

More and more, this behavior comes from readers who otherwise admire my work. When pressed, they admit they benefit from it. They learn from it. They appreciate the tone and style. They don't even disagree with the points I'm making.

But they just... what?

They can't just say they liked the article. They can't just say they want to add something of their own to the conversation.

They have to dominate me.

That's what.

When a significant portion of your own readership turns on you and attacks you like this, for no reason, in spite of the value you provide, a value they readily admit, nothing else can explain that other than pure bigotry.

If you're not doing that, thank you.

If you're supporting me, telling me to hang in there, thank you.

I'm making it worth your while, I hope. And I hope one last post on this subject doesn't bother you too much. I hope it informs you. I hope it makes you aware of just how bad the problem is, and I hope it validates you if you're not acting like this. I hope you see, we're not making this up. We're not exaggerating. It's real.

Now more than ever, whether we're talking about sexism or something else, we need people to try and be more supportive.

I was trying to do that when I wrote about metal. I was trying to offer a solution, and the person who needed to hear it most decided to attack me. But he did more than that. He attacked everything I've been writing about for the last five years. It was just one example of dozens this week where someone chose bigotry.

Please don't ever become like that. Please don't let that happen to people you care about, if you can possibly help it. That's exactly what we're fighting against.